Lately I’ve been feeling pretty unmotivated. Not just with my work, but with everything. I don’t know if it’s due to the lockdown, or the lack of routine I have right now, or if it’s related to my mental health, or if I’ve just been so busy that I finally burned myself out. Maybe it’s a combination of all of those things. But, whatever is causing it, the effect is much the same.
I managed to be fairly productive with my writing for most of last week, but by Friday I was feeling mentally worn out so I decided to give my brain a rest and do something more physical. I spent Friday afternoon walking round the woods, picking berries and climbing trees with my youngest son. Saturday was spent laying new flooring in my kitchen. So, despite the fact that just about every part of my body hurts right now, I should be feeling mentally rested right now.
Today I opened up my laptop with the intention of finishing an article I had started working on last Thursday. I stared at the screen for almost an hour but did nothing. It shouldn’t even have been hard but there was just nothing there when I tried to write.
So I headed here, to this blog. If I couldn’t write anything on my article then maybe I could write something more creative to get those flood-gates open. But no. Again, I stared at the screen for a while and realised that I had no idea what I wanted to say.
I checked the time, 3pm, I considered getting out for another walk to clear my head. It’s sunny here but not so hot as to make walking miserable. I considered it. I picked up my phone still considering it and began playing some idle game. Then it was 4pm. Still considering that walk I checked to see if any of my favourite YouTubers had any new videos. 5pm. Too late to start a walk now. (Probably not, but that’s what I told myself. That’s how my procrastination works.)
I decided to have a look online for jobs, tried one site, found nothing and soon quit. I took to facebook to complain about my own procrastination and general lack of productivity and motivation. (Yes, I procrastinated by complaining about my procrastination.)
One of my best friends told me that I was entitled to a rest day, and I know that he’s right! We all need to allow ourselves to recharge or we won’t get anything done. That’s why most working weeks are only 5 days. But, as I’ve already told you, I had technically given myself a mental rest and physically exhausted myself instead. So at this point I wasn’t entirely sure if I actually needed a rest or if I was just being lazy. That brings us to the start of this post.
I had initially decided that I would give myself today (or what’s left of it) to actually relax. Nothing mental or physical. Just a computer game, some Netflix and unlimited cups of tea. But then another idea occured to me and it drew me back here.
During my bachelor’s degree I began working on a series of short stories which would all come together to form one larger story. I wrote three of these stories during my degree and always intended to write more. These stories are set in a post-apocalyptic world but the focus is pulled away from the actual apocalypse to the people who were left afterwards. They won’t be told in any particular order, because I wanted to tell it in a way that mimics how you actually get to know a person – through small stories told from different points in their lives and in no particular order.
I had no idea what to do with them so I’ve decided I’m going to bring them here. Sometime in the next week or two you’ll see a new section of this website open up, where I’ll be posting these stories as and when they are ready. (Even the stories that are already written need some editing before I’m ready to share.) Of course, I’ll still be posting to the blog and working on my other projects, but I’m actually excited about this. I hope you’ll come along to check out the stories once they are up!
That’s all from me for now, but I hope if you are feeling unmotivated too then you allow yourself to rest. Or maybe just try something new!